


Forget Yesterday

by notverypunkofme



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Bottom Niall, Canon Compliant, Caring Harry, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Frottage, M/M, Top Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 04:27:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3276758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notverypunkofme/pseuds/notverypunkofme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"Have you been sleeping okay?" Harry asks, concerned.</i><br/><i>Niall turns his attention back to the telly, watching the big screen intentionally. He replies after a while, biting on his forefinger.</i><br/><i>"Yeah, yeah."</i><br/><i>It´s not convincing at all.</i><br/> <br/>Non-AU set up during the string of promos for Four. Harry being Harry comes to cheer up fidgety and slightly depressed Niall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forget Yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this story back in November, and I´m finally finished. Thanks to my beta Brittany x  
> You can find me on tumblr- notverypunkofme.  
> All kinds of feedback are very much appreciated :)

The London traffic after 9pm is much more enjoyable than during the peak hours, Harry muses, as he drives through the half empty roads, which are usually overflowing with cars. Patience is not his strongest virtue, and being stuck in a traffic jam is a hell.

His fingers are drumming on the steering wheel, and normally it would be out of boredom, although tonight he feels inexplicable jittery and kinda weird. He used to be all nervous before important performances or big events, but that´s long gone. Today it´s like he´s not okay in his own skin.

Harry´s trying to remember if he maybe forgot to turn off the oven when baking some poppy seeds lemon drizzle cupcakes earlier today or maybe to answer his mom´s text about Christmas arrangements. He checks the phone (ooh- dangerous when driving, how careless of him, that´s why he does it as quickly as possible, driving through a red light in the process), but there are no reminders set up for today. He´s been actually enjoying a quiet day at home, just in the middle of all the crazy promos for Four release.

On Saturday they were in Austria, on Sunday back in London. They are going to US next Monday. Harry counts on his fingers, trying to figure out what day it is. Is it Thursday? He´s confused now, frowning, looking at his own hand, then reminding himself that he should rather watch the road to get to Niall´s in one piece.

Hah! It hits him when the simple thought of his blond friend leaves his stomach clench in excitement. Is he really so happy to see Niall? It´s kinda unlikely, considering that about a month ago they were spending long days and nights together on the road, prancing about on the world´s biggest stages. Well, that´s... odd. But also, on the other hand, Niall´s been so amazing and so good to him lately that Harry could cry. Always there for him during tedious and exhausting interviews, laughing at Harry´s not-always-funny jokes, keeping an eye contact with him, as if to tell him that everything´s all right, that they have each other´s backs. How he´s always nearby, how he always sits next to him.

It´s also that he sort of misses Niall from a year or two ago, when they used to snuggle together in the too big hotel room beds or in the tiny spaces of the tour bus, which felt much more like home, but not quite. They would giggle and talk and Niall would ask Harry about girls, because even though that Harry´s younger, he had more experience that Niall. And Harry described to Niall, with a smile, how it felt to get a blow job or how much he liked to french-kiss girls for hours.

It always made him a bit hard, but he wasn´t thinking about it too much back then, thinking that it was the memories that got him all excited. To be honest with himself, Harry discovered a long time ago that he liked boys too, and Niall was actually the first person to know.

* * *

Harry parks his car and walks over to Niall´s door. It´s drizzling a bit, the black road already shiny with it. Harry suddenly feels like having a big cup of nice hot tea.  
When his friend opens the door, wearing an oversized knitted jumper which is definitely too big, and also definitely Harry´s, he forgets all about the tea.

"This is my jumper!" he says instead of a greeting, noticing how the the sleeves are folded, because otherwise they would be too long on Niall. He swallows.

"Sorry bro," Niall mumbles, letting him in and closing the door behind them. "I just found it lying around this morning."

Harry follows him down the hall to the sitting room where the telly is on- of course- and all different kinds of take-aways are scattered around, most of them only half-eaten. There are blankets and pillows on the couch, and it seems that Niall´s been sleeping here rather than in his bed. The air is thick, like in those places where people never open their windows.  
He sits down on the plush sofa, putting aside a lonely (and dirty) sock, and looks over at Niall who´s just opening a can of Guinness. His hair is an unstyled, unintentional mess. Also, the pair of jeans he´s wearing is the same one he was wearing two days ago, and Harry doesn´t believe that Niall did his washing this fast. It´s- kind of strange.

There´s golf on the telly, but Harry doesn´t want to watch golf. He wants to know what is wrong with his mate. Actually thinking about it now, Niall didn´t even give him a hug before. That´s serious, because Niall loves hugs and physical contact of any sorts in general. From the right people and on the right level, that is. Harry´s not thinking about giving him a nice cuddly hug. No.

"Are you hungry?" Niall asks suddenly, jumping up again. "There are some leftovers," he searches the room with his eyes, "but also some pizza in the freezer," he adds, probably considering that the cold fast food isn´t the right thing.

"Uhmm," Harry thinks, "I think I´m alright. Maybe later?"

"Beer?" Niall asks briefly before disappearing into the kitchen to get some.

He comes back with an armful of pint cans, more than he can carry, and some of them are slipping down from his grip.

"I hope there´ll be enough," he laughs, and finally, finally he sounds like the Niall that Harry knows so well, and he can breathe a bit more easily now.

They fall into comfortable conversation soon, Niall cracking a joke here or there, making Harry smile, all the while drinking their beers. He even convinces Niall to change the program and watch the old episodes of Power Rangers on Netflix.

He briefly thinks of weather in LA, how it would match Niall´s wide smile, and how miserable is London in November. And how this smile lit up his day so many times, probably too many, really, and how Niall was not smiling all that much before.

He must have made a noise out loud, because Niall turns his head to him.

"What?" he asks. He doesn´t look sad, no, but there are shadows under his eyes and they are a bit glassy and red.

"Have you been sleeping okay?" Harry asks, concerned.

Niall turns his attention back to the telly, watching the big screen intentionally. He replies after a while, biting on his forefinger.

"Yeah, yeah."

It´s not convincing at all.

"And what´s with the tic?"

"What tic?" Niall asks, straightening up.

"All of them."

"What do you mean?" And he´s defensive now, facing Harry, but his whole upper body is leaning away, his chin pointing up.

"The nail biting, the scratching, picking the holes in your jeans," Harry names it, pointing to where Niall´s fingertips are playing with the thread around the rip in his grey jeans, to prove it.  
Niall´s hand goes completely still, he looks to inspect it, and then he casually, too casually, props up his head with the same hand. He sighs, the atmosphere in the room changing completely.

"Feels like- like it´s a bit too much lately, you know?" he´s looking almost sadly at the hole on his knee. "I was so happy to be back in UK, proper excited, and for some reason I can´t enjoy it like before."

"This time of year´s always busy," Harry says, because Novembers are crazy every year, with the new album releases, promos and first award shows. "Only a few days in America, then Australia, and we are back home." He´s going for a cheerful tone, moving closer to Niall, patting his arm.

"But that´s not what I want either," Niall admits, peering at Harry coyly. "I don´t know... I miss being with you guys. I´ve already missed you after a couple of days."

And Harry doesn´t know if Niall means "you" all of them or "you" Harry, but he can´t bear this image of Niall, hunching over, small and lost. 

"Hey, Nialler," he reaches over, putting his arm around the blonde´s shoulder, "C´mon! Maybe you are just not feeling well tonight. Things are always better in the morning, right?"  
"I don´t know, mate," Niall says softly, letting Harry pull him closer, so he´s leaning slightly on his side now. "I´ve been feeling really anxious lately. Like, every bloody day I´m just waiting for it to get worse in the middle of a crowd, when we meet the fans or that sort of thing."

Harry´s watching his admission silently, not knowing what exactly to say. Obviously he´s well aware of how Niall can feel due to his claustrophobia and that he gets nervous and maybe even anxious because of it. But it hasn´t been on his mind for a long time, thinking that maybe Niall has gotten over it, got used to being surrounded by crowds. Which is probably pretty fucking careless of him. He starts feeling kinda shitty while sitting with one of his best friends by his side, having a hard time, and Harry hasn´t even considered that he might be unwell.  
"I´ve been hardly sleeping since we got back from the tour," Niall continues, and he´s playing with a thread on his trousers again, his other leg bouncing. Harry can only imagine how hard it is for him to say these things aloud, as he knows Niall doesn´t like to talk about stuff that bothers him. Even less when it´s as personal as this obviously is.

"How come?" Harry asks, his voice low. "You´re not happy to be back home?"

Niall finally looks up.

"Where is _home_ , Harry?" His blue eyes widen slightly, and he puts emphasis on the word "home". Harry wants to avert his gaze so much, but he doesn´t because he cares about Niall, and wants him to know that they are together in this, no matter what. The truth is that "home" sounds less familiar than he would like to admit.

"I´ve spend only a couple of weeks in Mullingar in the past four years, and how much of a year do we spent in London? I can´t even sleep in my fucking bed, because it feels like being in a hotel room again... I thought that taking a break from touring would feel amazing, but what if I miss being on road? What if I´ll never feel like home again?"

Well, that´s a scary thought Harry must admit, and he´s not going there in his mind right now. There´s not even a hint of the familiar smile on Niall´s face and he´s so damn serious. It´s so not Niall that Harry´s a bit lost for a moment.

Niall´s evidently upset, his breathing is visibly quicker that normally, and he´s frowning.

"You know what," Harry decides, getting up from the sofa. "Let’s just go to bed." He´s prepared to have to convince Niall, but to his surprise his friend stands up obediently, resignedly. They take the duvets and assortment of pillows, and carry them over to the bedroom. Harry manages to chuck away the disgusting, greasy left-overs, touching them gingerly only with the ends of his fingers, while Niall rearranges the bed.

At the end, they are both lying on the comfortable bed, facing each other and chatting. It´s nothing new, they´ve spent many nights like this, sharing beds and talking. What is much nicer though is, that they are actually at Niall´s place, which is very different to hotel rooms, feels much cozier and homey and intimate. The bedside lamp on Harry´s side is on, and there´s more room coming from the hall, so it´s not really dark. The soft, yellow light is making him pleasantly sleepy. Niall´s exchanged his jeans for cotton trackies, and Harry took of the black jeans he´d been wearing, in case they would fall asleep.

"Maybe you are lonely? Like, you would feel better with a girl?" Harry suggests, because Niall hasn´t been in a real relationship in a long time, or even had a sex, if Harry can judge on how busy they are and how complicated these things are for them. Also Niall always jokes about not being interesting or handsome enough for girls to like him, and in those moments Harry seriously hopes, that Niall doesn´t mean any of that. Because Niall is so amazing, so honest and open. It would break Harry´s heart. He can´t imagine a person who wouldn´t want to go out with Niall if they had the opportunity.

"Nah," Niall dismisses quickly with a quiet bark of a laugh. He´s still wearing the jumper, Harry´s jumper. It´s loose around his neck and Harry notices the brown moles, tracking them, trying to count them. 

"Or a boy?" Harry doesn´t mean anything by it. He just says it, raising his eyebrows and smirking.

Niall goes all still and serious, then breaths out, the warm air ghosting over Harry´s face.

"I´ve never, you know, never done anything with a lad."

The thing is, it doesn´t surprise Harry. He can´t help asking though.

"Do you, uhm- do you wanna try it?"

"You serious?"

And Harry´s about to call it all off, to pretend this was a silly joke, and laugh pretentiously. But then Niall says:  
"Yeah, ok." He looks sheepishly , his eyes flitting nervously. And Harry finds it so cute that he almost falters. Because. Niall. Is. Cute? . Or is he. 

They both sit up slowly, leaving the blankets underneath them. Meanwhile Niall huffs out a quiet laugh, but it´s not the usual goofy one. It´s more like a soft one. So Harry´s concentration´s back on the other boy. He puts one hand cautiously on the side of Niall´s neck, and leans closer to get their lips together in the right way.

The angle is good, he supposes, and he´s slowly closing to Niall, who is flashing him sort of shy looks, and God let’s get on with this.

Harry presses their lips together firmly, but gently, holding still for a few seconds. The ends of his fingertips are touching Niall´s nape, and his thumb is hooked under his jaw. Niall´s not moving either, in fact he´s kinda stiff, and Harry can feel the tension, because they are pressed so close together. He doesn´t want to make Niall uncomfortable.

Slowly withdrawing back, just a fraction, Harry then goes back to Niall´s lips, nipping at them with his own a few times, before coaxing Niall to open his mouth to slip his tongue in. He goes for a tiny touch and soon Niall´s moving too, meeting Harry´s for a cautious stroke.

It takes Harry by a surprise, and he pulls away, looking at Niall quizzically. His friend´s eyes are glued to Harry´s mouth.

"Your lips are really soft," Niall says, biting his own bottom lip. "And full," he adds quickly only to blush furiously straight away.

"I guess you liked it then?" Harry asks with a grin, a warmth spreading in his chest with the compliment, hoping that Niall would want to continue, because kissing him is something that Harry definitely wants to explore more.

Niall chuckles, saying "Yeah," and he´s bolder now, judging by the way his hand sneaks around Harry´s forearm, the one with the new tattoo, and they´re kissing again.

There´s much more tongues this time, but in a really really lovely way, not like wet and gross. How could this be even gross when Niall´s involved?

They both relax into it, their bodies going boneless. But also Harry can feel the fire, starting subtly in his pelvis, from the taste of Niall that he didn´t know before. For him it´s always thrilling to learn new things about people, and having Niall like this, seeing him like this, intimately- is exciting.

He wants to see Niall in ways he hasn´t before, wants to know what sounds he makes when he´s aroused, and how red his cheeks can get.

"Niall, can I kiss you here too?" Harry murmurs against Niall´s lips, tapping his finger against the delicate skin of his throat.

"Mmhm," he agrees and Harry moves away to nibble him there. He can see that Niall´s eyes are still closed, his head tilted back to give Harry more space.

His cheeks are red as Harry expected, and the pink tint has spread down to his neck and chest too now. Harry admits that this picture of his blond friend does do things to him. He can´t wait to get his mouth on the bare skin, preferably all over Niall´s body. For now, he´s content with exploring some sensitive spots, so he surges forward, planting chaste kisses, mouth closed, to the flesh there, his lips tingling from it.

He can also smell Niall from this close up, which is really nice. So he keeps breathing slowly and deeply, also to regain some self-control.

The first time he uses his teeth on Niall, grazing them along the column of his throat, Niall lets out a sigh that turns into a low groan as soon as Harry licks over the same place. And here Harry thought it can´t get any better and he´s determined to make Niall moan much much more.

Then it goes all downhill (or the other way around) from there, Harry discovering how much Niall actually loves neck kisses and bites and he´s pulling away the collar of the grey jumper to get to spots at the base of his neck, and Niall visibly shudders and lets out a shaky breath, which Harry can´t ignore.

"I want you to be alright again," Harry confesses into Niall´s neck, then surfaces to look at the boy.

"I´m feeling much better," Niall announces confidently, biting at his bottom lip. "Really," he adds earnestly. But he´s still nervous, Harry can tell, and he didn´t want to make things weird between them.

"Niall, I shouldn´t have-" he waves his hand vaguely, searching for the right words. "This was a bit silly, yeah..."

"No- it was nice," Niall says quietly, this time it sounds honest. "I liked it, I mean, kissing a guy. I liked kissing you," and he gives Harry an unsure little smile.

Harry´s heart could melt any second. He´s so relieved and pleased with himself. He grins, squeezing Niall´s thigh in response.

"Can we do more? Please?" A new wave of a crimson red blush colours Niall´s cheeks.

Harry moves forward, unable to hold himself back, kissing Niall again, gripping his upper arms and pushing him down into the mattress.

"We should take our tops off," he says between the kisses, tugging on his own t-shirt and getting rid of it as fast as possible. "It´s nice when you- when you feel the skin properly," he explains unnecessarily, needing to articulate the million thoughts on his mind, because that´s what he always does. It´s natural to be honest with Niall, even if he might sound silly.  
And it is, in fact, spectacular when their bare chests touch. Niall groans out loud and Harry holds it barely back, dosen´t want to scare the other boy who is running his fingers along Harry´s sides, leaving trails of goose bumps in their wake. There´s so much skin revealed, and it´s sort of overwhelming, if Harry´s being honest. So he just keeps kissing Niall, listening to his soft moans and matching them with his own quiet groans. Because he is turned on and knows that Niall´s too, judging by the bulge that he can feel against his thigh.

Harry’s hard in his trousers. He nudges his hips against Niall’s, nothing aggressive, he’s not trying to push either of them into anything beyond this, just seeking out something to rub against, take a little of the pressure off. To his surprise it's Niall who reaches out first, clumsy hand sneaking into Harry's briefs past the elastic.

Harry feels somewhat hesitant now, but keeps kissing the other boy anyway, waiting for his next move, or maybe just dying with anticipation. When Niall's fingers close around his shaft he lets out a deep growl without really meaning too. It's just that Niall's unexperienced touch sends a wave of a new arousal to his groin, and he's definitely fully hard.

"How do you like it?" Niall asks Harry's shoulder, moving aside to get a better grip, supporting his weight on his elbow.

"What?" Harry stutters out, concentration on not coming just from the simple contact, vaguely remembering that the last time someone put a hand on his cock was probably before the tour even started.

"How do you like-uhm, to be touched?"

"How do _you_ like it?" Harry returns the question swiftly. He doesn't know if this is a challenge. It might be.

Niall looks at his face, searching, the grip getting firmer. Harry waits, face open, then Niall laughs nervously, hiding his face in the pillow next to Harry's hair.

"I know how _I_ like it, but I wanna get _you_ off," comes out muffled.

Harry smiles to himself, reaching his hand to run it throught the baby soft hair at Niall's nape, tugging at it softly. He watches as the boy opens his mouth slightly on a soft moan, arching his back. He would like to be bold enough to tell him directly how he normally jerks off, but it's different with Niall. They've never been intimate on this level (although Harry can't deny thinking of it before), plus Niall doesn't have any experience with men, and Harry feels very responsible now. Wants to take care of his friend, has been from the beginning.

All selfishness aside, all the want to please Niall, to show him how good he can make him feel, to prove he can, he takes the blonde's hand in his own, curling his fingers over Niall's shorter ones, slowly moving it up and down his shaft, starting up a nice rhythm. Niall is not hiding anymore, is hovering over Harry now, one of his legs thrown over Harry's thighs. They've stopped kissing and Niall's watching Harry's face sneakily, ducking his head bashfully every time Harry catches him looking.

The temperature in the room must have gone up, judging by how sweaty Harry is now, although maybe it's them being this close to each other, and what they' ve been up to. Harry would like to ask Niall if it feels strange to touch other man's dick, but the words die in his throat when Niall twists his wrist skillfully, not needing Harry's guidance anymore it seems. It's nice to see Niall this confident all of a sudden, compared to the sullen boy who greeted him an our ago. 

"Wait," Harry says when the blood in his veins start bubbling, skin too small for his body, vibrating with the tell-tale need to come. He flips then around so he's on top of momentary confused Niall. He kisses him with an intent until the boy relaxes again underneath him, not asking any questions.

When Niall starts reaching for Harry again, he catches his wrist, stilling him.

"Wanna do it another way," he explains, breathless, pulling down his underwear. He really hopes this is okay with Niall, and he bends down to bite on Niall's chest gently, soothing him, taking his dick out too, and that´s when their groins come to contact for the first time.

Both boys groan in unison at the feeling, and Harry thrusts carefully a few times, testing how well they fit, how their dicks slide against each other perfectly. And then he does what he wanted since he had seen Niall biting his nails- he grasps his skinny wrist and pulls, moving Niall arm above his head, holding it firmly.

"Keep it there, love."

He positions the other arm the same way. Niall is pliant and surprisingly obedient, all flushed in the face. Beautiful, Harry thinks when he kisses down the inside of one of the arms, all the while sliding their cocks together with measured thrusts, the pre come making it especially enjoyable. His left hand is clasped around Niall's wrists, holding them at place. Everytime the boy underneath tries out Harry's grip, he presses down more in return, making Niall shiver and gasp out.

His other hand is helping to guide his erection along Niall's, the head dragging wetly across the underside of Niall's cock and his sack.

"Jesus, Harry," Niall pants, the small of his back coming off the bed for a moment, and Harry can see how bloody horny Niall is, just as he is himself, struggling to stay in place, tilting his chin up for more kisses.

The whole scene is bordering on obscene, really, but Harry doesn't give a fuck right now, instead he hopes this is not the only time he gets to see Niall wrecked like this. He's so responsive, so responsive to every Harry's touch, leaning it them like a cat, wanting more, listening to the cries of pleasure like it´s the best music ever.

Niall jerks violently, eyes screwing shut when Harry somehow takes both of their dicks in his hand, or tries to, and starts jacking them off in earnest.

"I-I think I'll come soon," Niall stutters out, eyes glued to where Harry's hand is moving fast, holding them together.

"Yeah, good," Harry answers slowly in a raspy voice, concentrating on his task, bordering on a verge of coming himself.

And Niall is brilliant, moving his hips into Harry's fist, and Harry can't quite believe that he gets to see him like this, gets to feel him when he spills over Harry's fingers, head thrown back, struggling for breath.

"That's it, Ni," he coos, leaning forward to nuzzle against the side of Niall's face, kissing it lightly, while finishing himself off.

“Niall?” Harry asks after coming down, still tingling everywhere, and he notices that his friend has rolled over so he´s facing his back now. 

“Was is quite enjoyable?”

It´s weird to talk to someone´s back, mainly to someone who just shared your orgasm with you. A worry´s slowly worming it´s way up to Harry´s throat, and it might suffocate him if Niall won´t speak or turn around any second now.

“Ni?” Harry tries again, more urgently, putting a clammy hand on Niall´s pale shoulder, squeezing. God, he wanted to cheer him up, not to make him to stop talking. 

Niall lets out a deep sigh, Harry can see his shoulder go up and then down again, before he turns to face Harry. The expression on his face is- hopeful? Probably matching Harry´s pretty much, he´s sure of it.

“I took it too far, didn´t I?” Harry says apologetically at the same time Niall starts with “I´ve never done anything like this before-“

They both laugh, nervousness seeping away with the distraction, and Harry dares to reach for Niall´s hand, brushing his fingers against the top of it. The blonde boy is resting half against the soft pillows and half against the headboard, tracking the movement of Harry´s hand against his. 

The moment seems much more intimate than anything they did minutes ago, and he fleetingly remember how he wanted to see Niall shaking under his hands, and how he didn´t really had time for it after all. 

Harry can´t take his eyes off of Niall, who is still flushed, the yellow light making his skin glow. 

“How are you feeling?” He tries, hoping that Niall would understand what he´s asking, even though Harry himself isn´t sure.

Niall swallows, Adam´s apple bobbing.

“Was this just an experiment, just a one-time thing for you?”

Harry shakes his head _no_. How could it be?

“Then I´m excellent.”

He interlaces their fingers, palms pressing together. 

“Good,” Harry breaths out on a half grin. “And I´m staying. Just- I´m here for you. Always.”


End file.
